Tag: habit

How I Tied Male Rompers Into Honesty In Friendships

Published on by The Five Minute Mind6 Comments

The bonds we have with the people around us are the most important part of our emotional wellbeing- which is why this article will be about another concept in friendship.

How a person exposes themselves emotionally to someone completely influences the nature of the friendship they share. When you think about it, it’s sort of common sense- the people you share more with are likely people you are closer with. 
However, there’s an element further that is significantly important yet not consistent in many relationships. The way we confide in someone is not just vital to an intimate friendship, but is crucial to our own emotional wellbeing. Being able to speak to someone about your own state of life and everything in it is absolutely necessary, and this is fortunately afforded to most people. People share things about themselves in all magnitudes, from elementary thoughts all the way to the intimate depths of feelings. Bringing this importance to the forefront of our friendships is key in building friendships as well as maintaining individual strength within our emotions. While this may be easier for some, and perhaps more difficult for others, realizing its significance reaps multi-dimensional benefits that simply can’t be overlooked. In summary, placing a priority on being vulnerable in confiding in someone is necessary for the friendship, but is also necessary for emotional wellbeing. This is a skill women are typically more proficient at than men, with unfortunate forces like toxic masculinity stopping more men from sharing their feelings. This means that with habits and mindfulness around it, it can still be developed further by both males and females. The stigma is gone from a man needing to be a nonvocal, emotionally bottled type. If male rompers are making way onto the fashion scene, being comfortable with talking candidly about whats on your mind to a close friend is easily achievable. It’s possible that women come about this easier, but it still doesn’t mean that this can’t be pushed to progress this skill set and be comfortable in talking honestly about what’s going on in your head. The liberation that this brings is indescribably freeing.
The next piece to this puzzle is honesty. This is a concept that means something to absolutely everyone, regardless of who you are. The reality is everyone has things that they either choose to leave out or alter in order to appease the people who listen. In other words, people either change the truth entirely or keep things to themselves because of the way they think people will react to the truth. 
This fear is infectious to our habits, and as with any habit, it can grow and become easier and easier to do until it is a trait embedded in our social structures. 
I’m entirely, one-hundred-and-ten-percent guilty of this. I spend so much time focusing on awareness of the feelings around me that I leave certain pieces of my feelings out of conversations in order to improve the way it’s received. Just like any self-reflection I’ve had, I decided to challenge myself by exposing honesty in its entirety to those closest to me. And it’s because of those feelings that followed this by which the second part of this article was inspired by. The freedom and self-comfortability brought by being honest with my own emotions, feelings, and words are difficult to express; sheerly by the magnitude in which it positively impacted me. Challenge yourself to allow someone in on a version of yourself that is purely honest and unfiltered with everything you say. If you already share this with someone, expand on it by including this habit with other people you’re close to. The way that this can positively infect the friendships around you is invaluable and can’t be fully quantified into words. The contagious nature of honesty and genuineness will only strengthen the relationship, and the liberation within your own mind that accompanies it is a coveted, incredibly positive byproduct. Take the plunge, and get comfortable with challenging yourself. Your friendships stand to miss out on too much otherwise, and regardless of that you owe it to yourself to be free.
The main idea for this topic came from a close friend, and I thank you for the inspiration.
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How I Learned To Forgive My Father For How He Affected My Entire Life

Published on by The Five Minute Mind4 Comments

Forgiveness. Another word that strings along a whole case of emotions with it. Forgiveness is one of the trickiest actions as that’s just it: emotions often barricade the path to sincerely forgiving someone. This isn’t without cause, as it’s obvious the very reason that forgiveness is needed is based on a wrongdoing of another person onto you. Navigating these feelings, while also emotionally understanding that to truly forgive it will begin and end with you, is the basis of a liberating forgiveness. While everyone’s story is different, my purpose is to share how I personally moved forward to forgive someone who has impacted the entire course of my life.

My project of forgiveness began with the choices, made by the man who fathered me, that led to his absence throughout my childhood. All of the typical feelings from something of this significance were found: resentment, anger, the desire to have my questions answered. The reality was that while it was my fathers choice to not be there, no matter what happened from there on out would be entirely up to me. Yes, while I was younger I saw nothing wrong with harbouring this resentment towards him. But truthfully, once I even glimpsed at the fact of the damage my own anger was doing to me, I became internally motivated to see what I could do about it.

The resentful hatred was not even wholly based on how it impacted me, because to my family I have always maintained how much I love the way I was raised and have no regrets on that front. Are there things I may have missed out on? Sure. I still don’t know how to change my own oil and at this point I don’t even want to ask. Kidding, but about asking. For all of these so-called absences I was supposed to feel by not having a father around, I still don’t feel as though I was starved for fatherly attention. I have been blessed to have incredible people around me to make this seem relatively unnoticed. My emotions were solely based on how this in turn impacted my family, mainly my mother and my sister. While my mother has defied pretty much any stereotype surrounding how a single mother and her five children should live, it was essentially the fact that my father left her up to the challenge by herself (likely unaware of the flat-out superhero characteristics of that woman radiating beneath the surface).

As shared in previous articles, guiding your own emotions is immensely important to having a personal sense of wellbeing. It is important to understand that you will never be able to fully dictate the nature of your emotions. Comparable to how a captain navigates his ship, the direction can be guided but you will never be able to control all of the other external influences- which in this metaphor would be the wind and oceans. These outside factors are the world and everyone in it. Internalizing that you must guide yourself through it without controlling anything else is a trait of humility and acceptance,
which is crucial to living at peace with your own emotions. This is a building block of forgiveness, because as mentioned earlier, the emotional extremities felt by someone who caused you harm in any kind of way are intense and seemingly overpowering. Many times within myself I saw a power struggle between myself and the sheer exertion it took to try and control these emotions, and as a result I suffered for it. Learning to accept this way of thinking ended up relieving me of a lot of damage I was causing within myself.

The final part, and the segment that is most commonly understood, is how the act of forgiveness ends with you. It suddenly hit me that any sort of angst I was now feeling was now due to myself, as for a large portion of my life I allowed these emotions to be present. It may seem obvious, but realizing that I was inflicting this upon myself called for action and self-reflection on what I could do to help myself. But the readers digest (or blog) version is that I needed to realize what I was subconsciously doing to myself. One of the absolutely essential elements of wellbeing and self-care is how in tune you are with yourself, and I’ve alluded to this in articles previously. This is how fundamental showing compassion to yourself can be- simply paying attention to you. At the end of the day, this is a message I dwell on the most; it was this idea that made me so hungry for personal growth. Having something to inspire you helps ensure that you can get where you need to go as smoothly as possible.

Kind of like oil in a car. Anyone want to teach a guy how?

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Practice Makes Perfect, Happiness Is No Exception

Published on by The Five Minute Mind2 Comments

Happiness seems to be the thing everyone looks to chase, one way or another. Catching it, however, is impossible due to the emotion naturally washing in and out of our lives, similar to the ocean’s tide and it’s cycles. Like the ocean, controlling this emotion is met with the same futility. Understanding what control we have, and don’t have, over our emotions is crucial in our own self well-being. With this in mind, it’s important to understand that there are ways in which to manipulate more positivity into your life- by which happiness is a pleasant by-product.

One of the most basic aspects about happiness itself that many people don’t realize is how much of a habit it is. In the same way someone can be completely negative, it’s possible for someone to be positive. I’m sure when given the chance to reflect on it, everyone can think of a person continuously cheerful and lucky, and someone who is relentlessly negative and down on themselves. We as humans are creatures of our own habits, and as much a cup of coffee in the morning to start the day, other habits have a way of dictating our emotions. While it’s nearly impossible to just suddenly declare “from now on I’m just going to be happy,” magically transforming into Mary Poppins, implementing methods of positive habits can make being happier simply easier. Similar to how practicing over and over again in something such as a sport, driving, or in my grandma’s case- quilting, it is possible to becoming more skilled at being positive.

Positivity has always spilled out of a friend of mine, and I must admit, sometimes it was just flat-out annoying. When I was presented with some of the more challenging phases of my life, this guy always seemed to be riding out life in the luckiest of ways. However, after beginning my own quest in self-growth, understanding part of what makes him tick ended up being incredibly interesting. This guy does not have a negative habit in him. He is so deeply entrenched in overlooking negativity while at the same time reinforcing positivity that he just appears to be the luckiest guy in the world. This made me realize just how important perception is into luck and happiness. Luck is an entirely real thing, and people possess either bad luck or great luck. The truth behind it is what events you choose to perceive. A person who chooses to hover on all of the unfortunate events in their lives will reflect that in how they view their life. On the same token, someone who overlooks such things and chooses to gravitate to all of the great happenings in life will undoubtedly present as someone who unexplainably has a ton of good luck. Practically adding this into your life is as simple as making a concerted effort to brood on anything positive that happens to you or around you. Over time, the changes possible are remarkable. As humans are creatures of habit, you’ll start to realize how effortlessly natural this becomes. Eventually, respectfully blocking out negativity will become second nature, and soaking in all the good around you happens automatically.

A habit helping out a happy frame of mind is the importance of gratitude. This trait is hugely important in developing satisfaction, which easily translates into well-being and positivity. Look at gratitude as a vehicle for happiness that allows everything around you to be converted into aspects of your own happiness. You could be the wealthiest, most privileged person in the world, but without a presence of gratitude you will be less satisfied and happy than a family with minimal necessities in life but who are wrapped up in an incredible appreciation for one another and the world they share around them. In addition, understanding the relationship of gratitude and happiness is profound. It is difficult for depressive moods to exist in the presence of gratitude. Implementing this in your life is as easy as compiling a list of things you’re grateful for. Making this a habit is as easy as thinking about anything you’re thankful for every day. Whenever you’re driving, in the washroom, or just have a minute to yourself- make a simple list in your head of three things you’re grateful for. This can be anything! From family and loved ones, to the person who held the door open for you this morning when your hands were full. Gratitude can be found everywhere.

This a relatively short article on the practical side of happiness, and there is a whole host of other aspects comprising its body. Utilizing these habits can aid in harnessing the good in your life, which in turn is very effective in raising your overall well-being. Challenge yourself to notice the positive aspects in your life- study the happy-go-lucky people around you. Take note of their habits, but most importantly, always be in tune to the things that make you happy.


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Anxiety Saved My Life

Published on by The Five Minute Mind4 Comments

It’s no secret that mental health is a buzzword these days. Thanks to ever progressive movements, the negative stigmas surrounding the different realities that people face are morphing positively so that help is much more easier to access- in a variety of different platforms.

Anxiety is one of these realities that millions of people are subjected to, and one of the most common mental illnesses in society today. Anxiety can show itself in a myriad of different ways, from generalized worrying or fear from anything in your day-to-day life, to panic disorder caused by the overwhelming sensation that immediate danger is imminent. While there are a variety of reasons why someone might be familiar with these feelings, a large majority of people feel these wrenching emotions that are predicated on the fear of the future. This is the basis of anxiety, as the stress and fear is based on something upcoming that someone feels they are not fully prepared for or simply feel as as though they won’t be able to handle it. While there are tons of reasons as to why someone might feel these feelings as entirely negative, the notions of positivity that may stem from them are not often thought about- or completely unrealized.

Anxiety entered my life shortly after the transition to adulthood from a teenager, mostly in the form of a panic disorder. Before I knew it, I had a whole host of different things that had unwittingly become triggers for me. Certain situations, no matter how comfortable (or happy) I felt, would induce these overwhelming feelings that my body was under the risk of immediate harm. Everyone has felt these feelings of anxiety at some point or other- a clammy cold sweat, elevated heart rate, sometimes a tingly sensation. What I thought I came to realize was that these feelings were caused by my lifestyle, which I admit, was not conducive to a healthy body. Some of this ranged from drinking without moderation both in quantity and frequency, and even more frowned upon habits, such as drugs- and not just the one you’d find in a brownie or a cookie made by that guy who is always riding around on a longboard. This rapid lifestyle took me into a whole world of relatively habitual use of a few substances, and until I met a real repercussion, I really had no inclination to slow down. This is where anxiety comes in.

 I came to blame these habits on the way I lived my life and as someone motivated for personal growth, this inspired a lot of forced maturation on my part. My anxiety grew to the point where a day of panic was inevitable following a night of drinking, with no real reason behind it other than it just seemed to be the price I had to pay for being hungover. These utterly repetitive nights of drinking lasted for much longer than the phase where drug use was just as frequent as alcohol. Based on this newfound panic, making the choice to leave those alone became entirely easier. Accompanying this, my excessive nights of binge-drinking saw a drastic reduction, partly due to maturation, but mostly because of the anxiety that seemed to trail undesirably after it. While ridding these habits might seem like a logical no-brainer, cutting out anything habitual in your lifestyle is never an easy task. And while it also might seem completely trivial, I can thank anxiety for presenting me with something powerful enough to truly push me away from it.

My anxiety still exists with me today, and while I’m not fundamentally worried or nervous about certain situations/fearful of everything, my body is still familiar with feelings of relatively unexplained anxiousness that can’t really be linked to anything in particular. What I’ve come to understand is that this will be a part of me for the rest of my life, and as someone who’s personally inspired to be positive, there are many things to take from this. Yes, sometimes my anxiety will make me uncomfortable; both mentally and physically. Yes, sometimes the bodily sensations aren’t fun. But as hard as it is to believe, there are positives that come with this. The flurry of different thoughts brought on by perpetually overthinking things can be used to your advantage. It may sound laughable, but things that some people may overlook will have been thought by you over a hundred different ways, and you’d best believe that it can be an advantage. It might feel as if you have no control over these thoughts- learning to accept this and be okay with them will aid you in living with them. Also, don’t think for a second that the flood of different thoughts and ideas streaming through your mind isn’t good for building a more intelligent consciousness; these thoughts are a vehicle to think about things you may have never even considered before. While this might seem ridiculous at first, coming to understand it and adopting it entirely can help you learn to view that your anxiety is working alongside you, not a foe pitted against you. The important thing to understand is that everyone’s reality is different, and how you choose to live with yours is up to you.

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