Tag: wellbeing

Life Changing Habits Start in 5 Minutes

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The idea for this site came from the discovery of how much power ‘5 minutes’ can have. From journaling, meditating, or just chatting to someone close to you, 5 minutes can make a big difference in improving our mood. 

I think there’s somewhat of a gruelling and unattractive stigma to things that are good for us; we like the feeling and product we get after, but we aren’t as motivated to actually do it in the first place. 

I’m thinking of things like going to the gym, starting a healthier diet, or getting more work done. Losing ‘x’ amount of weight, getting that so-called ‘ideal’ body type, or things of this nature require a dedicated commitment and a supreme amount of work.

We all want things like this, but the ease and simplicity of basic tasks like watching TV, or good ol’ fashioned procrastination often take advantage of us any time we’re feeling less motivated.

The thing is, things that are positive and good for any aspect of our health don’t demand this type of rigorous action that seems to drain us even just by thinking about it.

This is where 5 minutes come into play.

It’s a seemingly inconsequential slot of time – it’s usually used to describe the simplest and easiest of things. But 5 minutes committed to virtually anything can start paying real, valuable dividends to us should we actually start doing something.

It doesn’t matter what it is, starting with an action of 5 committed minutes to something we care about starts to become an investment. Whether it’s exercise, reading, mindfulness, or anything positive, 5 minutes is the deposit you can make into the account of ‘you.’ There’s evidence showing how Olympic athletes gained more aerobic capacity by training in short intervals that totalled 4 minutes than training for a total of 60 minutes. Done in the right way, the athletes had less overall stresses on their body and more time to take care of themselves by stretching and moving onto other aspects of training.

Of course, it’s not all about physical exercise, but the same concept applies to other areas. By starting a 5 minute meditation, you can lower your stress, anxiety, depression, and increase protective grey matter in your brain.

By using 5 minutes to make an effort in reaching out to people you care about, you can increase your social connection, which is actually a vital need of ours that has a habit of being grossly overlooked in modern society.

The possibilities go on and on, and it’s up to us how we choose to use these valuable little slots of time. As I mentioned earlier, it’s an investment into ourselves and the things in life that serve to help and make us better.
And as with investments, these things grow. Cementing a habit for 5 minutes has the potential to snowball in the direction we like, with the habit making it easier to ‘slip’ into doing more because of that coveted feeling of being on a roll.

Many times, once we feel good about doing something it’s easier for us to keep going, because we gain a little more motivation from the addicting feeling of achieving something.

By dividing these important things into manageable, seemingly ‘insignificant’ chunks of time, we’re kind of hacking our brain by making them much easier and accessible.

5 minutes can be the vehicle that moves us along positive, life-changing routes, by making them simple, doable, and ready for us to start.

What can 5 minutes give to you?

Practice happiness, reduce your stress with a simple guided journal, whether you’re a beginner or an experienced writer.

Order your copy of ‘The Five Minute Mind’ here:

https://www.amazon.ca/Five-Minute-Mind-Jordan-Britton/dp/B08PJPWLGK/

Book Launch Coming Soon

Friday Feels: Searching for Good Vibes

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The fresh feelings are great to write, and honestly free and easy, when I’m bubbling with a good mood. This week though I noticed that I was comparably a bit more irritated than I normally am in other weeks. While it’s dope to give some focus on the good things when times are good, I think it’s extra-important to shed some light on them during those times that aren’t as great. Positive psychology isn’t just blind optimism, but rather accepting that no matter what, there will be good and bad- and it’s up to us to control how we perceive it all.

As always, gratitude is a great antidote and here’s my log for the week. However, this week I thought it would be pretty fitting to feature some feelings left by readers and friends, who have definitely helped out in giving inspiration for this segment.

1. When you find something you lost after you’ve already given up looking for it
-Brock Boyd

Losing stuff happens all the time and when it happens you often just try not to lose your mind as well. In our house of males, it’s not uncommon for something to disappear for a few months, seeming lost in the fray. But when that thing unexpectedly turns up, you turn up too- especially when you’ve already given up on it more definitely than the stupid Rubik’s cube that sits smugly on our coffee table.

Where the heck did I put that thing


2. When you meet new people and instantly click, and everything is easy
-Lea Riemeier

Science says that meeting new people can be some of the toughest things we have to do, so when you meet someone, or a group of people, that’s smooth like Teflon right from the jump it’s a great feeling. Life’s all about finding people who match our type of weird, that feeling of finding familiar weirdo’s can’t be overlooked.

Pro tip: don’t laugh at your own jokes just yet, I guess people think it’s lame

3. Getting a good hug from someone, when they really mean it
-Chalene Kuefler 

Anyone around my friend group knows that were pretty open with our emotions and hugs go right along with that. Yeah, we’re grown men and we like to show affection- that’s just love. As experienced huggers as we are, we can attest that some hugs just hit differently than others- this is a shout out to those hugs that are a little warmer, a little tighter, and a little better. Giving someone you care about a good squeeze is the bees knees (sorry for the Seuss-like line).

Live, Laugh, Love right?



4. Being told or telling someone you love them 
-Kellie Smith

We’re cruising down Emotion street so let’s just keep rolling. Verbalizing how much someone means to you or being told it by someone dear to you is without a doubt a warm, fuzzy feeling. A simple phrase that can just stir up a whole host of nice feelings when you hear it, love in any form will always be dope and should always be celebrated. 

Keep ’em on their toes.


5. The feeling of finishing a good workout or challenging physical task
-Philipp Kawaletz 

I’m a sweaty guy when I get up and go, so this feeling is likely a whole lot damper than yours but man, I’m sure we can agree on a solid feeling of achievement. This is the single best feeling of working out, in my opinion, and seeking it out does wonders for health. I get dirty, I get sweaty, and just bask in it for a minute before hitting a nice, cold shower. 

These days it seems like ‘pics or it didn’t happen.’

5 Facts Science Says About Eating Right

Published on by The Five Minute Mind1 Comment

Written by Lea Riemeier

It’s common knowledge that giving a machine the right fuel is necessary for it to work at its best without collapsing. Our body is a machine too, but I’m wondering – why are we not making sure that it gets the best fuel too?

Many people nowadays do not believe that feeding our body right and healthy can actually have an impact on how we feel in general? But guess what – it does! Why else do many of us feel so crappy sometimes when we had fast food for a few days? “I don’t have time.” 

That is one of my ‘favourite’ excuses… You don’t have time to grab a piece of fruit or vegetable, but you have time to make a stop at McDonald’s Drive Through? 

I am not saying you should never eat fries again – hell no! It’s all about balance, isn’t it? Small changes can make a huge difference and it’s a start. If you want McDonald’s then get it, but if you’re just hungry and want a snack maybe you could try an apple or a banana instead? And you will see, they won’t kill you. Here are five facts on why healthy food can make you feel better or happier 🙂

  1. Eating fruits and vegetables increases people’s life satisfaction

A study from Australia from 2016 found that people who switched from eating almost no fruit or vegetables to including eight portions a day in their diets felt an overall increase in life satisfaction that is comparable to the feeling an unemployed person has after finding a job. Everyone knows studies that show an improvement in people’s health when they eat more fruits and veggies.

What I find interesting though is, that the effects it has on our life satisfaction seem to happen much faster.  

  1. Eating healthy prevents mood swings

We all know that feeling when we are really energy depleted and just need a quick snack to get that blood sugar up again. What’s a faster way than having a piece of chocolate or a candy bar?

Yeah, we will feel better for a bit, until the blood sugar drops down super fast because of how fast our body digest and absorbs these simple refined sugars and we will feel tired and crave more and the circle starts again.

There is nothing bad about sugar; it’s definitely the fastest source of energy. Just try combining it with fibres instead of having it by itself. Fibres are complex carbohydrates, found in fruits and vegetables, especially in the peel, but also in oats, peas, beans, etc.. The complex carbohydrates will slow down the sugar absorption into your bloodstream, will cause an increased release of Serotonin, the “feeling good” chemical and by that prevent these mood swings, which suck not only for you but also for the people around you.

  1. Feeling more comfortable in your skin

We all want to feel comfortable with our physical appearance, but nowadays that is hard for many of us.

On the one hand, there is all that influence from social media on how we should look like and on the other hand all these super fancy unhealthy food trends we all HAVE to try and take a cool photo of to post it on Instagram (No? It’s just us girls? Oh.).

I can’t tell you to not listen to that and it doesn’t matter what social media says and you are all beautiful as you are, because why would you believe me? You have no idea who I am. But what I can tell you is: ‘Listen to your body. It tells you what to do.’ If you don’t feel good in your own skin, because you are obese or you have bad skin then no one can help you, but YOU

You can make healthy food choices and you will see how it will make you feel better, look better and it will keep you motivated to make healthy choices in the future. 

Most change is slow and gradual but is entirely worthwhile. What matters more in the end? Social media and trying every food trend that already won’t matter anymore tomorrow or how happy you feel with yourself? 

  1. What you eat can improve your mood and energy levels

Many of us are having a hard time eating enough protein throughout the day. Most of our foods contain lots of carbohydrates and fats but they lack the amount of protein we should eat. Protein is great to improve your mood and energy even for several hours after eating. They slow down the absorption of carbohydrates into your bloodstream and increase the release of dopamine and norepinephrine, which are also used to treat depression.

Examples of protein-rich foods are:

  • Eggs
  • Chicken
  • Fish
  • Soybeans or tofu
  • Lentils
  • Quinoa
  • Nuts and seeds
  • Greek yogurt
  1. Keep those bowels moving

This might not be the nicest topic to talk about but whether we like it or not it’s important and everyone has to go to the toilet.

Nowadays many of us suffer from constipation and can’t empty ourselves regularly and that obviously makes us feel bad, bloated, and just somehow heavy. A very simple explanation of why we feel like that is that we are not getting enough water and fibres in our diets, which are the essentials for our gut system to work properly and get everything moving.

Once you’ve experienced how great it feels to have regular bowel movements, and how much lighter and comfortable you feel, you won’t ever want to feel differently and you’ll probably prioritize water and fibres.

Sources:

https://www.livescience.com/55407-eating-more-fruits-veggies-linked-with-life-satisfaction.html

https://www.healthline.com/health/mood-food-can-what-you-eat-affect-your-happiness#mood-foods

https://www.webmd.com/depression/features/foods-feel-better#1

https://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/thumbnails/image/2019/07/18/15/istock-855098134.jpg?w968

The Formula for ‘Being Happy’ (Achor)

Published on by The Five Minute MindLeave a comment

If everyone could choose to either be happy or be sad, I’m sure there would be a clear favourite from the two options. It’s obviously not as simple, and involves so many things that make it complexly different for each person. I’d like to think that most people know what gratitude is, and the impact that it has every single day. I’m sure everyone could easily explain what it is, wrapped neatly in well-thought out answers, in different amounts of depth and in different ways. After all of this considered, I just wonder why it isn’t talked about more, or why we don’t see more of it in every day life.

I’m sure anyone who took the time out to explain what being grateful meant could do a great job at it, and could logically infer that having more of this is better for happiness. And if they can’t, they should.

The greatest motivator that had biggest hand in restructuring the way I saw the equation of productivity and happiness was best explained by Shawn Achor, the author of the Happiness Advantage (also the single most influential book I’ve ever read). I’ve written about this topic in a dialogue sort of way, and if you haven’t checked it out already and are interested, you can click here.

Basically, the author (Achor), explains that there’s a bit of a misconception around productivity, success, and happiness. Most people see it like this:

People work tirelessly to become successful, with the ultimate goal of being the happiest they can be. Which is what everyone is ultimately trying to do right? At the end of the day, we all have stuff that make us happy, and it’s the pursuit of this that keeps us going (shoutout to Will Smith).

However, while it’s great and all to have this end goal in mind, the biggest message from Achor’s philosophy is that it’s backwards. I like to think of an analogy of waking up in the morning, since it’s something I used to be terrible at and am now somewhat manageable at. When I’m happy or excited, for whatever reason at all, it’s fairly easy to spring out of bed and get going with whatever’s got me fired up and ready to go.

When I’m not-so-happy is the time where this gets way to difficult. I linger, procrastinate, debate what I’m going to do, or just waste some time away on my phone. I’m sure someone can relate to that.

This is the same for productivity and success, which is better illustrated like this:

If I can get to that place of happiness and excitement beforehand, I’m way more inclined to get stuff done and my overall productivity sky-rockets. It isn’t much of a surprise that people get more stuff done when they’re feeling good, yet it still isn’t enough of a commonplace at work, school, whatever. Google is all over this idea and has been for years, evidenced by the puppies in the office, nap pods, frequent breaks, and anything that will boost the morale and mood of their employees. They know that happy workers means more results.

Now obviously, moods aren’t able to be controlled on demand like Pay-Per-View (anyone still use that?). If everyone could click to be stoked and happy, like already stated, they would. This is where gratitude comes in, and acknowledging things around you is the vehicle to get there. By making a point to appreciate what’s already here, the habit of satisfaction in the present moment is found. I was laying in bed last night and thought of a situation wherein I was genuinely concerned for my safety, and from that small flashback I was overcome with some appreciation for being safe and comfortable where I was- something usually super easy to overlook and something I’ve probably overlooked hundreds of times. Thankfully, it’s something I usually don’t ever have to think about- but it doesn’t mean it’s not something I can’t appreciate. I can think of dozens of things that I overlook on a daily basis that I would miss should I not have it, and this is the central theme around gratitude. Why wait until something’s gone before truly appreciating it? Reordering these appreciations really makes me feel luckier and can usually always improve my mood.

Gratitude is everywhere, and if someone doesn’t think they have anything to be grateful for, they might be doing it wrong. Some days without a doubt will always suck more than others and nothing can change that, but appreciating something when you have it feels a hell of a lot nicer than appreciating it while it’s gone. Practicing this daily has become routine, and like any skill the improvements result in it becoming easier and more natural, creating a more effortless pathway to gratitude.

This Expert Explains The Essentials of Taking Care of Yourself

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Last week I had the chance to chat with Jackie Boyd, an expert in the field of holistic health and wellbeing at Boyd’s Alternative Health.  The knowledge she brings to the table of wellness is a valuable asset to The Five You Need. Jackie is a devoted wife, mother, and successful business owner who was able to grow her passion into a living whilst also positively impacting the lives around her. She is known by all as a charismatic, supportive person and I am incredibly thankful for the time she was able to lend me.

Below are some of the highlights of the interview and at the bottom is full audio of the conversation!

Jordan: I’ve known you for over a decade now, but if you could introduce yourself and explain a little bit about what it is you do?

Jackie: I’ve known you for over ten years. I myself have 4 kids. I’m a mom, I’m a wife. As a job I’m a holistic practitioner, I have had a business on our property here for 18 years.

Jordan: So health is the biggest theme here obviously.

Jackie: Yep! What ends up being the most prominent thing in the majority of people is their emotional health, and unfortunately there’s no pill for that. So we can help people along the way, I think it’s very important.

Jordan: That’s something that resonates with me, as this endeavour that I’ve set out on is predicated on emotional wellbeing and mental health. It’s become just as prominent as physical injuries and I think they needed to be treated the same way.

Jackie: It’s actually become more prevalent. It’s amazing to incorporate emotional health as well as physical health.

Jordan: So where does wellness and wellbeing fit into your life, how are you proactive in fitting it into your life?

Jackie: It has to be your life. You can’t choose it now and again. It starts with food, if you don’t fuel your body with real food, you can’t expect it to continue to do what you want it to do for all your years. I’ve preached this to my kids, you, I’m sure your coaches have preached it- it has to start there [with your team of people]. When I talk about a team of people, after food I believe I believe it takes a team. My chiropractor, massage therapist, an acupuncturist, and even though it might sound vain- my hairdresser. Those are the people who help my world go round.

Jordan: Wellbeing is not just an option, on the side, this is something that has to 100% at the forefront of your life- it’s a lifestyle.

Jackie: It is a lifestyle. If you don’t live this lifestyle you have to choose to make the changes, and that is a choice. In order to truly have that well-rounded mental health, it has to become a lifestyle. Everyone has a struggle, mine is fitting in time for exercise. You don’t have to have this massive routine though, even getting outside and getting some fresh air- nothing clears your head quite like that.

Jordan: I agree. Would you agree that the societal stigma around mental health (and wellness) is changing? You see this type of stuff all the time, do you think these concepts of wellbeing are popularizing?

Jackie: I believe it is popularizing. I guess the downside is that we want to believe that it is becoming more acceptable to look at getting help- it’s still stigmatized. I think we need to change that. I often hear “Well everyone’s got a problem.” Partially that’s true. And if you’re waiting to have a perfect life, that’s never going to happen. But there’s always going to be somebody that uses that problem to their advantage.

Jordan: So in your eyes, we’ve made a couple steps but there’s still a lot of work to be done.

Jackie: Yep. I see people in our clinic and I would say about 80% of them struggle with emotional pain of some sort. Every one of us are going to have emotional struggles- thats just life. It’s the types of stress that we just can’t get our own grip on that we need to learn how to handle. I have a different approach with a lot of people [which is] the diet we’ve created for ourselves- that’s the start of so many problems.

Jordan: One of the things that I’ve always loved about your field of expertise is how you tie in the interplay between physical health and emotional wellbeing. A lot of the time with other professions it’s seen as either or and there’s people who treat physical ailments and then others who treat emotional unrests but I live how a lot of what you do to can be for both. You stress how the two are interrelated and play together.

Jackie: Absolutely; always.

Jordan: As an expert in your field, what is something you can pass on that is unique to your field?

(Jackie humbly attempts to deflect the ‘expert’ moniker here, but as an 18 year veteran in holistic health, I don’t buy it)

Jackie: Self-care is caring enough about yourself to make the changes that you haven’t made to make yourself feel better. Just about the food, the team around you, and really learning to accept yourself. There’s so many things that go into self-care.

Jordan: Those are very valuable words. Well thank you for your time Jackie, and I’m super grateful you were able to take time out of your morning and talk to me to today.

Jackie: You’re welcome, I really like what you’re doing Jordan. It’s an interesting read!

Boyd’s Alternative Health is located on Highway 9, east of Beiseker. Jackie is an experienced alternative health practitioner who beautifully ties in the importance of physical and mental wellbeing into her practices. For more information on any of the products or services she offers, call Jackie at  (403) 947-2389

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Millennials Might Not Be Working, But This Is What Is

Published on by The Five Minute Mind5 Comments

Millennials are constantly being scrutinized for being lazy, entitled, and “ruining the economy.”

And they are. If 319 selfies in an Amaro filter can’t dig the economy out of debt… Honestly I don’t know what will.

Criticizing the generations following after you is nothing new and is sure to be a torch passed onwards as millenials start harping on the up-and-coming young bucks and
whatever ridiculous behaviour they normalize next. Let’s be honest, everyone can already feel themselves in those shoes as well. Although I strongly doubt anyone will be able to rock those all-white New Balances with the same zestiness, I’m sure they’ll be okay.


Community is a surprising, albeit subtle, trait found in each generation amongst themselves, as the simple timing of when you were born unifies people together by sharing similar experiences- however marginal it might be.

All generations have definitely cemented their own stereotypes, as the relatively harmless flack taken from each generations shortcomings can often be found on Facebook from time to time (as well as memed responses). Really though- supporting a household on a hardware store salary just isn’t feasible anymore, and sometimes it takes humour to send a message!

There are plenty of positive aspects put forth by the millennial generation; one of them being the main theme of The Five You Need. Wellbeing and self-care has often been overlooked for years by a massive chunk of the population, but modernization has helped to impress the importance of taking care and looking after yourself.

This is huge, as continuously overlooking an issue like this will only perpetuate the problem. While not prioritized or neglected in the past, self-care has become a societal norm. Realizing the merit in concepts like mindfulness and mental wellbeing have only just begun in the way it’s exploding in both popularity and value. This is a philosophy that should continue to be progressed by every generation, as anybody is susceptible in developing mental illnesses of all variations and magnitude.

No one is immune, and your mind should be treated with the same respect which we treat our bodies with. Self-care can come in a variety of ways, but understanding the primary role it plays in our lives is crucial to our own wellbeing.

As briefly alluded to in previous articles, being in tune with yourself is a big thing. Being conscious of the activities and habits that are both healthy and enjoyable to you is a base block to understanding how to take care of yourself. Whether that’s being outdoors, reading, or spending time with someone- being aware of how these activities help you stay balanced is key. This is relatively easy, but for most people the hard part is actually making time for these types of things.

Here’s the reality though.

The fact is absolutely everyone on this planet has time for a minimum of 15 minutes every day to spend on themselves- it doesn’t matter how busy you are. What is really at the forefront when someone claims they don’t have this seemingly insignificant block of time is that they just don’t care about it enough.

If that’s the case, okay. Some people are just geared differently than others. But an interesting way I learned to portray things accurately in your mind and to others is rewording common phrases to display the real truth. In this example, “I just don’t have the time for that,” is replaced with “It’s not a priority to me.”

Simple enough, but responding this way to yourself and to others can enlighten you on how you really feel about certain things. Going to the gym, meditating, eating healthy- whatever it is, this is the truth behind it. If it’s enough of a priority to you, you’ll make time for it.

The same goes for less rewarding activities, like watching TV or playing games. Motivated people who possess that natural pizazz for life say they just don’t have the time for those things, when in reality they just don’t place much of a priority on them.

Allow yourself to be honest with yourself and others, and see if that makes you feel differently about things. It’s harder to admit that eating better isn’t a priority to you than it is to say you don’t have time for it.

Being honest with yourself can help you plan out your days better and allow you to create the time necessary for the things truly important to you. 

This is a step in the direction of taking care of yourself, and in the end, all the dividends are paid out to you.

How I Tied Male Rompers Into Honesty In Friendships

Published on by The Five Minute Mind6 Comments

The bonds we have with the people around us are the most important part of our emotional wellbeing- which is why this article will be about another concept in friendship.

How a person exposes themselves emotionally to someone completely influences the nature of the friendship they share. When you think about it, it’s sort of common sense- the people you share more with are likely people you are closer with. 
However, there’s an element further that is significantly important yet not consistent in many relationships. The way we confide in someone is not just vital to an intimate friendship, but is crucial to our own emotional wellbeing. Being able to speak to someone about your own state of life and everything in it is absolutely necessary, and this is fortunately afforded to most people. People share things about themselves in all magnitudes, from elementary thoughts all the way to the intimate depths of feelings. Bringing this importance to the forefront of our friendships is key in building friendships as well as maintaining individual strength within our emotions. While this may be easier for some, and perhaps more difficult for others, realizing its significance reaps multi-dimensional benefits that simply can’t be overlooked. In summary, placing a priority on being vulnerable in confiding in someone is necessary for the friendship, but is also necessary for emotional wellbeing. This is a skill women are typically more proficient at than men, with unfortunate forces like toxic masculinity stopping more men from sharing their feelings. This means that with habits and mindfulness around it, it can still be developed further by both males and females. The stigma is gone from a man needing to be a nonvocal, emotionally bottled type. If male rompers are making way onto the fashion scene, being comfortable with talking candidly about whats on your mind to a close friend is easily achievable. It’s possible that women come about this easier, but it still doesn’t mean that this can’t be pushed to progress this skill set and be comfortable in talking honestly about what’s going on in your head. The liberation that this brings is indescribably freeing.
The next piece to this puzzle is honesty. This is a concept that means something to absolutely everyone, regardless of who you are. The reality is everyone has things that they either choose to leave out or alter in order to appease the people who listen. In other words, people either change the truth entirely or keep things to themselves because of the way they think people will react to the truth. 
This fear is infectious to our habits, and as with any habit, it can grow and become easier and easier to do until it is a trait embedded in our social structures. 
I’m entirely, one-hundred-and-ten-percent guilty of this. I spend so much time focusing on awareness of the feelings around me that I leave certain pieces of my feelings out of conversations in order to improve the way it’s received. Just like any self-reflection I’ve had, I decided to challenge myself by exposing honesty in its entirety to those closest to me. And it’s because of those feelings that followed this by which the second part of this article was inspired by. The freedom and self-comfortability brought by being honest with my own emotions, feelings, and words are difficult to express; sheerly by the magnitude in which it positively impacted me. Challenge yourself to allow someone in on a version of yourself that is purely honest and unfiltered with everything you say. If you already share this with someone, expand on it by including this habit with other people you’re close to. The way that this can positively infect the friendships around you is invaluable and can’t be fully quantified into words. The contagious nature of honesty and genuineness will only strengthen the relationship, and the liberation within your own mind that accompanies it is a coveted, incredibly positive byproduct. Take the plunge, and get comfortable with challenging yourself. Your friendships stand to miss out on too much otherwise, and regardless of that you owe it to yourself to be free.
The main idea for this topic came from a close friend, and I thank you for the inspiration.
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Keeping People Around Depends on This

Published on by The Five Minute Mind4 Comments

Finding anything truly lasting is difficult, and unfortunately sometimes friendships are this way too. Bonds and relationships with others are craved by every one of us; holding onto them can sometimes be a tall task. While by nature humans crave socialization and a sense of community, sometimes the comforting feeling of love and support isn’t consistent. These inconsistencies can be due to friendships changing like seasons, or from a colder isolation of the feeling of loneliness. If you disagree, you are likely blessed in the strength of the relationships that surround you. This article may affirm these feelings within you and perhaps bring a consciousness of the ideas to follow. 

If socialization and warm relationships seem elusive (and a little bit more of a struggle) this piece is about the importance of developing and fostering friendships in a positive way to maintain deeper, more lasting bonds.

The basis of my emotional knowledge for this area in my life is the people that surround me. I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who genuinely care about the wellbeing of others- and this is a big head start. While new people have entered my life, the core of my friends have been consistent in my life for many years. I refuse to attribute this completely to luck or circumstance. Conflicting locations has never impeded these bonds, nor has any other factor that usually forces friendships to fade. There are characteristic constants found in these relationships that are a true driving force behind maintaining meaningful friendships. The first of these is value. This word typically springs thoughts of deals, sales or something like the good ol’ Value Picks menu at McDonald’s. As great as a Jr. Chicken is, friendships are probably worth more. The definition of value is “the regard that something is held to deserve importance, worth, or usefulness.” 

This might seem like a no-brainer, but instilling value into the people around you is one of the most important aspects of friendship. 
Doing this means two dimensions: putting value into someones life that you care about, and knowing that someone respects you enough to return the favour. This doesn’t mean eye-for-an-eye, or keeping score of any sort. Rather just being mindful of toxic habits that have no place in friendships, and mutual respects for people as individuals. This is easily identifiable. If someones level of respect indicates you lack importance or worth, this means value is absent. 
What is most important to realize is how crucial putting value into other people is, and how positively it affects you and the people that surround you. Value is as simple as showing someone you care, in whatever way comes natural to you. I’ve found that younger friendships and people find themselves in a balancing act with this, because showing someone you care about them can sometimes be difficult as it leaves you vulnerable. With emotional maturity comes the understanding that this is not an issue, and showing empathy and warmth become more natural and thus more present in longer friendships. 
If you find yourself struggling with some friendships, challenge yourself to making a real effort into adding value into other peoples lives without expecting it to be returned- the humility that builds from this is also rewarding.
What I’ve found in my own personal metamorphosis from a child into an adult is exactly this; value is everything. At younger stages in my life confidence was something that came more naturally to me, and some people around me would be very quick (and right) to say this sometimes came across as arrogance. In fact, those reading right now are probably questioning why “sometimes” is even in that sentence. And while many of my friendships were forged in this time, the reason they’ve lasted is because of emotional maturity and value. What I’ve noticed over this time is the sheer difference in support around me. Being full of yourself might make you a friend or two, but the difference of how these people support you once you add true value to them is incredible. Huh, imagine that- I found that being less of a d-bag increased my overall support network. Crazy. 
The reality is that while so many of these concepts are blatantly obvious, not taking the time to reflect on things allows them to slip away. 
How I began to add value to the people around me was by identifying a strength in myself and utilizing it to my advantage. Personally, I have confidence in my ability to display empathy, and show others I care by talking and listening to them (a trait no doubt learned from my mother, I can not sing higher praises for that woman). Understanding your own uniqueness and your own talents is key when assessing what it is you can bring to the table. If you can’t think of anything, your own self-concept is getting in the way- trust that you are capable and that you are valuable. Once you’ve got it, apply it into your life and become aware of how positive the dynamic of your friendships change.
The final part is coming to terms with how important it is to show the people in your life how much they mean to you, and how valuable they really are. Holding this in only damages your relationship and the other person involved. Showing them they care might also relieve them of any anxieties they have about showing you how much they care about you too! So text them first, hug them when you see them, listen to what’s going on in their lives- the only thing you have to lose is a more meaningful bond.

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How I Learned To Forgive My Father For How He Affected My Entire Life

Published on by The Five Minute Mind4 Comments

Forgiveness. Another word that strings along a whole case of emotions with it. Forgiveness is one of the trickiest actions as that’s just it: emotions often barricade the path to sincerely forgiving someone. This isn’t without cause, as it’s obvious the very reason that forgiveness is needed is based on a wrongdoing of another person onto you. Navigating these feelings, while also emotionally understanding that to truly forgive it will begin and end with you, is the basis of a liberating forgiveness. While everyone’s story is different, my purpose is to share how I personally moved forward to forgive someone who has impacted the entire course of my life.

My project of forgiveness began with the choices, made by the man who fathered me, that led to his absence throughout my childhood. All of the typical feelings from something of this significance were found: resentment, anger, the desire to have my questions answered. The reality was that while it was my fathers choice to not be there, no matter what happened from there on out would be entirely up to me. Yes, while I was younger I saw nothing wrong with harbouring this resentment towards him. But truthfully, once I even glimpsed at the fact of the damage my own anger was doing to me, I became internally motivated to see what I could do about it.

The resentful hatred was not even wholly based on how it impacted me, because to my family I have always maintained how much I love the way I was raised and have no regrets on that front. Are there things I may have missed out on? Sure. I still don’t know how to change my own oil and at this point I don’t even want to ask. Kidding, but about asking. For all of these so-called absences I was supposed to feel by not having a father around, I still don’t feel as though I was starved for fatherly attention. I have been blessed to have incredible people around me to make this seem relatively unnoticed. My emotions were solely based on how this in turn impacted my family, mainly my mother and my sister. While my mother has defied pretty much any stereotype surrounding how a single mother and her five children should live, it was essentially the fact that my father left her up to the challenge by herself (likely unaware of the flat-out superhero characteristics of that woman radiating beneath the surface).

As shared in previous articles, guiding your own emotions is immensely important to having a personal sense of wellbeing. It is important to understand that you will never be able to fully dictate the nature of your emotions. Comparable to how a captain navigates his ship, the direction can be guided but you will never be able to control all of the other external influences- which in this metaphor would be the wind and oceans. These outside factors are the world and everyone in it. Internalizing that you must guide yourself through it without controlling anything else is a trait of humility and acceptance,
which is crucial to living at peace with your own emotions. This is a building block of forgiveness, because as mentioned earlier, the emotional extremities felt by someone who caused you harm in any kind of way are intense and seemingly overpowering. Many times within myself I saw a power struggle between myself and the sheer exertion it took to try and control these emotions, and as a result I suffered for it. Learning to accept this way of thinking ended up relieving me of a lot of damage I was causing within myself.

The final part, and the segment that is most commonly understood, is how the act of forgiveness ends with you. It suddenly hit me that any sort of angst I was now feeling was now due to myself, as for a large portion of my life I allowed these emotions to be present. It may seem obvious, but realizing that I was inflicting this upon myself called for action and self-reflection on what I could do to help myself. But the readers digest (or blog) version is that I needed to realize what I was subconsciously doing to myself. One of the absolutely essential elements of wellbeing and self-care is how in tune you are with yourself, and I’ve alluded to this in articles previously. This is how fundamental showing compassion to yourself can be- simply paying attention to you. At the end of the day, this is a message I dwell on the most; it was this idea that made me so hungry for personal growth. Having something to inspire you helps ensure that you can get where you need to go as smoothly as possible.

Kind of like oil in a car. Anyone want to teach a guy how?

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Practice Makes Perfect, Happiness Is No Exception

Published on by The Five Minute Mind2 Comments

Happiness seems to be the thing everyone looks to chase, one way or another. Catching it, however, is impossible due to the emotion naturally washing in and out of our lives, similar to the ocean’s tide and it’s cycles. Like the ocean, controlling this emotion is met with the same futility. Understanding what control we have, and don’t have, over our emotions is crucial in our own self well-being. With this in mind, it’s important to understand that there are ways in which to manipulate more positivity into your life- by which happiness is a pleasant by-product.

One of the most basic aspects about happiness itself that many people don’t realize is how much of a habit it is. In the same way someone can be completely negative, it’s possible for someone to be positive. I’m sure when given the chance to reflect on it, everyone can think of a person continuously cheerful and lucky, and someone who is relentlessly negative and down on themselves. We as humans are creatures of our own habits, and as much a cup of coffee in the morning to start the day, other habits have a way of dictating our emotions. While it’s nearly impossible to just suddenly declare “from now on I’m just going to be happy,” magically transforming into Mary Poppins, implementing methods of positive habits can make being happier simply easier. Similar to how practicing over and over again in something such as a sport, driving, or in my grandma’s case- quilting, it is possible to becoming more skilled at being positive.

Positivity has always spilled out of a friend of mine, and I must admit, sometimes it was just flat-out annoying. When I was presented with some of the more challenging phases of my life, this guy always seemed to be riding out life in the luckiest of ways. However, after beginning my own quest in self-growth, understanding part of what makes him tick ended up being incredibly interesting. This guy does not have a negative habit in him. He is so deeply entrenched in overlooking negativity while at the same time reinforcing positivity that he just appears to be the luckiest guy in the world. This made me realize just how important perception is into luck and happiness. Luck is an entirely real thing, and people possess either bad luck or great luck. The truth behind it is what events you choose to perceive. A person who chooses to hover on all of the unfortunate events in their lives will reflect that in how they view their life. On the same token, someone who overlooks such things and chooses to gravitate to all of the great happenings in life will undoubtedly present as someone who unexplainably has a ton of good luck. Practically adding this into your life is as simple as making a concerted effort to brood on anything positive that happens to you or around you. Over time, the changes possible are remarkable. As humans are creatures of habit, you’ll start to realize how effortlessly natural this becomes. Eventually, respectfully blocking out negativity will become second nature, and soaking in all the good around you happens automatically.

A habit helping out a happy frame of mind is the importance of gratitude. This trait is hugely important in developing satisfaction, which easily translates into well-being and positivity. Look at gratitude as a vehicle for happiness that allows everything around you to be converted into aspects of your own happiness. You could be the wealthiest, most privileged person in the world, but without a presence of gratitude you will be less satisfied and happy than a family with minimal necessities in life but who are wrapped up in an incredible appreciation for one another and the world they share around them. In addition, understanding the relationship of gratitude and happiness is profound. It is difficult for depressive moods to exist in the presence of gratitude. Implementing this in your life is as easy as compiling a list of things you’re grateful for. Making this a habit is as easy as thinking about anything you’re thankful for every day. Whenever you’re driving, in the washroom, or just have a minute to yourself- make a simple list in your head of three things you’re grateful for. This can be anything! From family and loved ones, to the person who held the door open for you this morning when your hands were full. Gratitude can be found everywhere.

This a relatively short article on the practical side of happiness, and there is a whole host of other aspects comprising its body. Utilizing these habits can aid in harnessing the good in your life, which in turn is very effective in raising your overall well-being. Challenge yourself to notice the positive aspects in your life- study the happy-go-lucky people around you. Take note of their habits, but most importantly, always be in tune to the things that make you happy.


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