Tag: love

You Can’t Always Choose Life, But You Can Choose Gratitude

Published on by The Five Minute MindLeave a comment

Gratitude comes at me in so many different ways it’s not even funny. It’s easy to be grateful for family, friends, achievements, and stuff like that- because those are some of the best things in life. Naturally, we like these things.

Duh.

Today though I found myself feeling gratitude for an event that could’ve been immensely worse had the dice been shaken differently and thrown a different way. The kind of gratitude that left me with something I cherish deeply: life.

Taking things back a bit, and I’m cruising through Thailand on a bike I rented from the mountainous Pai area to head back down to the bustling but charming city of Chiang Mai. I had trekked up about a week prior and now it was time to head south again to move on to the next leg of our journey, back down the mountain highway.

Winding through the road with the smell of a jungle-y forest and the remnants of the rain that had swept through an hour ago made for an unreal ride. After about a quarter of the way down, we stopped to grab a tea as these two particular Canadian boys had somehow already become climatized enough that temperatures in the mid-to-low twenties were actually making us chilly, in lieu of the usual high thirties.

Not even an hour after sending my mid-journey snaps and messages to people back home, winding around the corner I caught a blanket of gravel while trying to hang the curve to the right.

It didn’t work so good, and in a split second, I spilled over top of the handlebars and onto the highway, crashing to the ground.

I immediately jumped up, in a daze while I tried to make sense of what just happened. Braden had slipped in front and hadn’t seen me tumble.

The tingly-sensation of shock crept across my body as I instinctively screamed his name, hoping he would hear and come back for me.

Nothing.

I began to feel out of body as I looked over my wounds, looking but not really seeing them. Noticing the shock in my body rising, I began reassuring myself despite the fact that the pain hadn’t set in yet- this concerned me.

I watched as a few cars drove past me, my wounds beginning to bleed and my shredded poncho reduced to just a symbol of what had happened. On queue, Braden raced around the corner, and a local pulled over and ran to my assistance. I’m not even really sure how everything happened from there on, but the bike was pulled from under the guard rail and I was loaded into the local’s vehicle- a man named Te (who had at some point also enlisted the help of another local woman, who climbed in quickly to take me to the hospital. I could feel my bearings coming back to me, and while this was nice, this was accompanied by the corresponding pain.

Three doctors hurriedly but meticulously cleaned the various wounds ranging from my shoulders to my feet. Braden and Te made sure to capture the whole encounter through photos, as Te was incredulously and affectionately calling me Superman as I refused to take a photo without smiling. Albeit some were downright forced, as the skin in the right side of my body were scraped and scrambled like ground beef cooking over the stove.

Slowly, in between the winces the whole ordeal slowly crystallized in my mind. The bike jammed into the metal plated guardrail, the way I fell off the bike and protected my head, and the local who found me and came to my rescue instantly, loading me into his car, blood and all.

Sitting there finishing getting cleaned and sterilized, and the bandages relieving some of the pain, I realized how lucky I was.

Not going to lie, tears formed in my eyes.

Te waited for the duration until I was cleared to leave the hospital, and while his English was a little less developed, he understood enough for us to embrace each other and revel in the moment.

I sat there with the most tremendous and profound gratitude for life and the way I had avoided being closer to an encounter that jeopardized it. Reality hits me in different ways, but nothing could stop me from the thankfulness for the severity of the situation and the kindness shown from absolute strangers.

Toughness is a quality I’ve been both unpacking and exploring lately, and even on the ride to the hospital, however delusional it may be, I was thankful for the opportunity to show myself that I was tougher than this event. Someone dear to me explained the beauty in adversity, and how in these moments we find out who we really are and in turn presented with an opportunity for growth.

I can definitely be a big baby some times, but through this I was excited to dig down and power through it. A little unorthodox? Maybe. But after today there’s no other way to frame it.

I’m sure I could look at it all from a different lens, criticizing the roads, weather, luck, or maybe even my driving. But truthfully that sounds like such a bizarre concept that accepting that is less likely than me getting my damage deposit back on the bike I just crashed.

Not a freakin’ chance.

I’m going to keep loving life, loving today, and carry it with me tomorrow.

What about you? Leave me a comment and tell me something you’re grateful for!

Te, left side in the red shirt. The doctors/nurses who mended me. And the woman who guided Te to the hospital!

Love Will Not Work Without These 3 Things

Published on by The Five Minute Mind1 Comment

What a week! After spending time vacationing in beautiful, British Columbia (and giving myself a quick concussion on the way…), I’m filled with inspiration to write about something that I myself have little experience in: love. I’m not a married man, nor some guru of romance, so naturally the inspiration came from two of the sweetest people who find themselves nestled into Nelson, B.C..
Grandma and Gramps have lived in a little honey-hole on the lake for almost 25 years, and have been together happily and successfully for 52 years. I’ve known them for over a decade now, but spending time in their home as they hosted myself and some of my friends (and their grandson of course) allowed me to get to know them a little more intimately then I had previously.

As someone who doesn’t even know what my next week looks like, to see people who have managed 52 years in the company of one another is something I can’t even begin to fathom- but after talking to them I begin to understand.

Grandma and I walk out in to the garden, flowers and plants surrounding the borders of the property, only ending for the expanse of the deep blue that is the lake.

Yeah, the Kootenay lake is their backyard. Gentle mountains cozied around the lake finish off the view that happens to be their every day view.

We take a seat, and I mention to Grandma about why I wanted to talk to her. I explain that I was taken aback to see a happy, vibrant love between two people who have spent more than double the time together than I have spent on the earth, and that I was eager to find out how she makes it work.

For anyone that knows Grandma, the joy and energy that bubbles out of her is always apparent and this surely doesn’t change for our conversation. She immediately begins talking about her main man, and how important he is to her.

The love and compassion she so evidently possesses for the love of her life is visible in far more than her words; when looking at her mannerisms and body language it’s easy to see that this is easy to talk about.

After talking to her, I wrote down the pillars that hold up her love, relationship, and marriage.

1. Love and most of it’s success is hinged on you and how you govern yourself within it to foster growth.

The first of what I gather while talking to her corrects a way I had been thinking up until this point. In my comparatively miniscule experience, I had been under the impression that finding the right partner was 99 percent of the battle. Quickly after talking to Grandma, I come to realize that this isn’t quite right. How we act, how we respond, and how we behave play a tremendous role in the success of our relationships- and is something we will always be able to control.

2. Patience, and understanding how important this is in your relationship is crucial.

“We all think differently, we’re on different levels.” Realizing that there will be struggles, and that not every day is roses is key. Much like the hours of winding roads endured to get to the mountains required patience, love requires patience and endurance.

3. Being mindful and willing to communicate, while also understanding the importance of it.

Everyone knows how to communicate when they need something badly, but understanding the importance of talking about things is essential. Much of the time it’s external factors, like our egos, or emotions that prevent us from communicating in the right way. Mostly everyone knows that talking is good, but simply being mindful of how important it is, combined with a willingness to talk about things in the right way go a long way.

. . .

One profound aspect explained to me by Grandma is the nature of how dynamic and changing we as people are. We will always be changing, and having a willingness to grow and change together is an ingredient of success in a partnership. Being adaptable is a terrific quality, and factoring in someone else and how they may change is amazing. Growth is a motivating concept, and the thought of growing alongside someone else, in sync is extremely attractive.

As we sit on the bench swing, the compassion that radiates from her is immense. Time and time again she stresses how important Grandpa is to her, yet even without her repeating these comments, they are found subliminally in virtually everything she says. 

I thank her for sitting down to chat with me and she hurries off to continue her day- only stopping to give Gramps a quick kiss as she passes by.

Gramps with the proudest catch of his life, and a fish

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I Took A Whooping From An Eleven Year Old, And It Won’t Be My Last…

Published on by The Five Minute Mind3 Comments

With the game tied up and two points away from being decided, I look at my opponent in front of me and know in myself that it’s game time.

He drives around me, crossing over before scooping the ball through the hoop while going off the opposite foot.

Okay, one more point and my game is over. This is fine though, I’ve been here before.

I pass him the ball for the final, game deciding possession, and he dribbles and crosses over to attempt a similar move- only this time he sneaks around to the other side for a reverse lay-up, gently spinning the ball off the backboard and through the hoop.

Before shock even has time to fully sink in, the loudest squeal of joy can be heard from him as he runs off the backyard court and into the house faster than I can even make words come out of my mouth.

My eleven-year-old little brother Austin just beat me one on one for the first time.

I stand there a moment, wondering how I got myself into this position before walking up to the house to find my brothers animation is somehow filled with more excitement and emotion then when the Warriors won the NBA championship less than a month prior.

As someone that means the world to me, seeing the joy on his face somehow lessens the competitive blow my ego just took, and I sit there and accept his energetic elation without making excuses in front of my bewildered family.

This kid has shown day in and day out uncanny similarities between us, and the gratitude I have for him is immeasurable. While we aren’t identical, looking at him and seeing qualities evident from our brotherhood is something I cherish and hold close to me. I know that through him, I can walk along life beside him and find solace in the fact that I can support him through struggles and challenges I faced at the same ages.

For better or for worse, my brother emulates me and this is something that I will never take lightly. I love the relationship and how complacency is no where to be found, because of how highly improvement is viewed by both of us. Life and growing up brings many mistakes accompanied by lessons, and to be frank, the plentiful mistakes I’ve made have thankfully afforded me with countless lessons- and the age gap between Austin and myself means that I have the luxury of helping him through similar times.

The awareness of this fills me with happiness and relaxes me, while also adding another dimension of fulfilment to my life that helps validate my worth. My internal compassion develops by helping him, because making a habit of putting someone else first is a humbling element of selflessness that can grow into other areas of my life. For as much as I’m helping him, I truly believe he’s helping me. 

I’ve talked a lot about gratitude in previous posts, and how this magnifies when talking about living, breathing, people in your life is immense and should never be taken for granted. Having appreciation for those around you is one of the most important vehicles of your own wellbeing. Assuming someone will be there regardless of what happens is an easy trap to fall into, and in doing so it robs you of truly appreciating them and what they’re worth. Taking time to fully value and appreciate the people around you will ensure that you’re always spreading the compassion you need to the people you need most. While obviously this element of gratitude is consistent with all members of my family, this post is for Austin and this feat he managed on his birthday.

Pretty soon he won’t be proud of beating his big brother in a game of one on one, so maybe I should be the one cherishing the moment!

Congratulations, Austin. I love you buddy.

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